The holidays are a time of celebration of things we are thankful for in our lives. This celebration, in turn, is also a means of ridding ourselves of the horrors of the previous year. One would think that this should be the most refreshing time for people to start anew and let bygones be bygones.
If you actually believe in this nonsense, then you really haven't lived in this World.
During the past seven months since the Apocalypse, we have settled into new roles and yet at the same time, some of us have yet to change. Some of us like Paz, Julie and Petunius have become teachers at the newly established Halliwell School for Witchcraft. Others like Sera and Jasmine have moved on from one another to explore alternative paths that life has to offer us, whether it is by themselves or with a new partner. People like Sharon and I find it difficult to be in each other's company, even if it might be something that the both of us yearn for more than anything. And there are those like Andrea and Veronica who haven't really changed at all.
The all-new, all-improved ACW opened up with a new arrival in the form of the next generation of the Halliwell line of witches, Melinda. As expected with a child of such a legacy, she possesses extraordinary powers that include shifting her age between such crucial stages in life: infancy, preadolescence and adulthood. These unsettling transitions led Paige, Leo and Azura having to deal with dropping the news of her true parentage to her a lot sooner than they expected and far before they felt prepared to give her this information. Interestingly enough, another lie that the doting parents didn't have time to conceal arrived at their front door, with Christmas cheer in mind.
Yes, that's right. Santa Claus and while I am American, I think it really is more appropriate to call him Father Christmas for the rest of this article for the very reason that he, like Catholic priests, has a predilection towards the young.
Sick bastard.
Father Christmas bribed Melinda with his "candy cane" or whatever and took her on an adventure that would surely traumatize her. Dear old Father Christmas kept her at his base in Greenland, where he has demonic reindeer named Adolf, Toxin and some other names. I still think that the demonic sheep were creepier animals. Then again, I can't really determine one way or another because I missed the adventure and I'd like to blame all of you.
Forgive my ramblings. I'm just going through things right now and it's really not an easy thing to do with these busy, lonely holidays. I'm sure that some people can relate. Right, Jasmine? She's jealous over that evil whore Meredith dating Sera. Well, I don't really have anything against her, which is one of many things that Sharon and I disagree on. Or maybe I'm just a bad judge of character since the bitch has sicked vampires to kidnap Sera because she's E-V-I-L and cursed to be a human and was once a sorceress and is occupying space that could be used as my current residence. But alas, things rarely go my way.
Lirie has returned to San Francisco, only to discover that She of Bird Nest Hair has departed from this mortal coil during her two-year absence. After some drunk exploits with Andrea, she decided to enlist in Azura's help in ridding this from her memory, but you all know Azura's not gonna do that, right?
So, in sum: we have evil sorceresses, drunk Jews, newborns with SORAS, kidnapped lesbos and vampires running amok and so much more excitement that I can't include because it'll take me ages to do so!
Welcome back, ACW! Don't you dare leave us again, you abandoning bastard!
My favourite bit is the SORAS part :D
Nicorette Patch is so gonna take Bird's Nest Hair's place as Lirie's new BFF.
Urgh. I keep forgetting that she started smoking! Stupid girl! Didn't she hear about lung cancer?