• Cave, minimally furnished
• Bigger cave, fully furnished
• A cave so nice you would think it was a house
• A cave, which is actually a house underground
• Underground Penthouse

Tell me what you want and I'll get it for ya. Along with anything else you'd like.

::Kellan walks in, and recoils at the smell::

(Well, what can you do?)

"I'd like an underground penthouse if you would. And do try to make it quick, I haven't got all day. There's a lad."

(Ugh. Someone needs to hose this man down...it's unbearable, it is.)

::Blaze walks in, his nose hurting because of the awfull smell that he was unprepared for. For a minute, he considers starting his own soap company there...::

(A nice long shower never hurt anyone, except some rare cases in 1942...)

"I, uhh... Want..."

(...You to take a shower, but let's stick to reallity here.)

"A cave, which is actually a house underground. Shimmering access only, please."

::Blaze leans on the right wall, looking at Kellan, suspiciously but calmly::

::The Landlord waddles out from behind his desk... thing and glowers at Kellan and Blaze in turn. He turns to Kellan.::

(You're calling a lad? You should respect your elders, boy.)

::He scratches his fornt, a little too low for anyone's comfort and goes behind his desk, retrieving something from a drawer.::

"Follow me, boy."

::He heads off to Kellan's new lair, but turns to glare once more at Blaze.::

"I'll be back for you."

::Kellan follows the detesable creature.::

(I WOULD have to be downwind from him wouldn't I)

"Do you think you could waddle a bit faster there my diminutive friend?"

[The Landlord shimmers in behind his desk, the smell in the room becoming more pungent with his direct presence.]

"Just to let you know, most all of the lairs I rent are shimmer/blink entry only."

(Stupid demon...)

"Follow me."

::The Landlord shimmers out to Blazes new lair.::

(You can never be too safe)

::Blazer shimmers into his lair, following the Stinklord::

::Link walks in and looks at the landlord.::

"I would like a cave so nice you would think it was a house."

( And make it quick. It stinks. )

:: Moony blinks in and a look of disgust crosses her face at the Landlord's appearence and... smell ::

(Some air freshner wouldn't hurt anyone)

:: She wrinkles her nose a little and then walks up to the desk, leaning on it, looking down at the Landlord ::

"Hi there. I'm looking for a place to stay. Those Underground Penthouses look nice."

:: She tilts her head to side slightly::

:: The Landlord looks at Link in a not so nice way ::

"You may want to be a little nicer to me, sonny"

:: He stands up, coming round from his desk. He notices Moony and leers at her a little ::

"Why darling, of course we have a nice Penthouse. Anything for a lady I say"

:: He grabs two orb keys ::

"Follow me"

::Link looks at the landlord and follows.::

:: Prieto walks in and looks at the surroundings ::

"Ew, much..."

:: She crosses har arms and leans against the wall ::

(Owner come soon....I cant stand this smell)

::The smell within the room intensifies slightly as the Landlord makes an appearence. He is covered in sweat, even more than usual, and is panting a bit.::

"Hmmm... That's better."

::He spots Prieto and smiles widely, looking her up and down before speaking.::

"Well, well.... What can I do for you, babe?"

(Note: Peadophil/pervert dude four O'clock)

"Well, first of all, you could stop calling me babe"

:: Prieto smiles sarkastikly at the landlord ::

"And then I would like an underground penthouse, thank you"

(I better stay atleast 10 feet away from this dude.)

::The Landlord smiles further and walks up to her.::

"Whatever you wish, my sweet..."

::His hot breath wraps itself around her head, practically choking her. He turns on his heal back towards his desk, retrieving an orb and then shimmering off to Prieto's Lair.::

::Link blinks in and looks at the landlord.::

"This huge plant attacked me, in my own lair! Don't you provide any magical safety?"

::Link waits for a respond or an energyball.::

"Do you really think I'm concerning myself with your vegetation problems? Get some weedkiller, you wimp! If you take a home here, that's all you're taking! I never promised any "magical safety", shee, don't make me laugh!"

::The landlord laughs anyway.::

"What a joke."

::Link glares at the landlord and blinks to the market .::

::Swings the door open widely and walks inside the Landlord's office. Physically recoiling from the smell, she hesitantly moves closer::

(Maybe the empty grave would have been a better choice, this is disgusting! My room better not smell this bad!)

"Hi, I'd like to have a penthouse."

(I'm afraid to know what the other lairs might be like...)

::Attempts to smile at the Landlord while holding her breath::

::Lisa opens up the door slowly, taking a peak into the office before entering. Then the smell hits her hard.::

(Maybe I should have picked the cemetary...)

::A smile crosses her face as she enters the landlord's office, a forced feature obviously.::

"I would like to have a penthouse now"

(Better make this quick...don't know how much long I can stand this smell...anyone hear of a shower?)

::The Landlord roughly takes Lisa's arm and shimmers her to her penthouse::

:: Mraz enters, and recoils slightly from the smell ::

(please, please please don't let my lair smell like this!)

"Yo?! Anyone about?"

:: She walks over to see whats on offer, and waits for the Landlord to return ::

"Think I'll have an underground house..."

:: The Landlord appears from the back office, scratching at his stomach, a wicked look crosses his face when he catches sight of Mraz. He not so subtly, looks her over, checking her out from head to toe. ::

"And what can I do for such a lovely lady, like yourself?"

:: Mraz smiles seductively at the Landlord and winks ::

"You could set me up with a sweet little underground house of my very own."

(Mraz... You're flirting with the King of stink... Stop it now!)

"If thats not too much trouble..."

:: She bats her eyes ::

:: The Landlord leans forward and smiles. ::

"Oh it's no trouble at all. Anything for a prety lady, such as yourself."

:: Grabbing a key The Landlord steps out from behind his desk. ::

"Follow me."

:: Mraz follows the Landlord, trying not to up-chuck her breakfast ::

::Aideen shimmers in. Noticing the small lump of sub humanity that is the landlord, she walks over to him, her heels clicking loudly on the stone floor.::

"You. Yes. I'd like a penthouse. I assume that's in your power to do."

(Grotesque little monkey beast.)

::Demerous enters, trying not to express his repulsion.::

(Holy... )

::Eyeing the foul smelling room and it's inhabitance, he stands up against the wall.::

"One Big cave, fully furnished..."

::Staring at the Landlord, Demerous makes it known that he's in a hurry.::

"Now now, just because you're evil doesn't mean you need to be rude."

::The Landlord glares at Demerous in distaste as he moves to the key rack, picking up a set.::

"Follow me."

::He shimmers out to Demerous' lair.::

::Parker shimmers in and looks around. Scrunching up his face from the smell, he aproaches the small counter. He blinks hard 3 times before finally speaking to the Landlord.::

(I really do hope the penthouses arent like this)

"Yeeaah. I'd like an underground penthouse."

::He unscrunches his face and smiles slightly, raising his eye brows.::

::The Landlord glowers at Parker.::

"Penthouses are for our more distinguished guests."

::He grabs a set of keys and grabs Parker round the throat, shimmering to Parker's Lair.::

::West strides into the office gracefuly and nearly grimices at the state of the place.::

(If the living conditions are no better than this I may just have to lower myself to live with the common witches and humans...I shudder at the though.)

::He spots the landlord and flashes him a regal smile as he begins to speak.::

"I'd like your best penthouse my good man."

"Pip pip, chap"

::He grabs a set of keys from the wall.::

"We're all out...follow me."

::The landlord shimmers to West's lair.::

::Gershom wanders in, arms crossed against his chest, his left eye twitches slighty as he hides his disgust::

"Uhm..."

::Gershom looks slowly around surveying the filth, he shudders a little::

(Seriously...)

"I need a...cave, minimally furnished...as soon as possible..."

::His eye twitches again::

"Certainly my sweaty bald friend. Follow."

::Shimmers to Gershom's Lair.::

::Sabriel comes in, and looks around the damp, reek office. She leans against the wall and surveys the place with repulse, waiting for the Landlord to appear::

"What?"

::Sabriel folds her arms across her chest, frowning at him::

"Fully furnished cave."

:: The Landlord makes a hacking noise at the back of his throat and then spits a flem ball on the floor. He wipes at his nose and smiles showing a row of yellowed teeth. ::

"That all you want darlin'? Follow me."

:: He laughs at his wit before blinking out to make Sabriel's cave. ::

:: Shem walks into the Landlord’s office and gently closes the door behind him. ::

(…Oh dear. Poor fella, probably hasn’t had consensual sex in years.)

:: He walks up to the front counter and breathes in deeply through his nose to get the full extent of the foul smell, lingering in the room. ::

“That smell… it’s lovely. I can’t quite put my finger on it, what is it?”

:: He asks with a hint of sarcasm hidden amongst his words. ::

“ Anyhow, I’d love an Underground Penthouse if you have one…”

:: Shem continues to stare at the Landlord as he produces a fake smile for him. ::