Luke's Ledger Vol. 1 Issue 7
March 18th 2005
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Recently, on
A Charmed World...
Petunius and
Shinji had a rematch with
Parker,
Arika and
Jonathon in Parker's Lair. In a moment of desperation, Shinji summoned
Andrea from the Queen-Sized Bed of Near Adultery, leaving
Carys alone. Anyway, long story short, Jonathon stabbed Andrea with a poisoned athame in the back and then the dumbass got what came to him by receiving his own poison. While the demons fucked off to get healed, Petunius and Shinji took
years to transport themselves to the Magic Shop to enlist the
Wiccan's help. Shinji and Petunius, per Wiccan requests, went out to get two other people who were close to Andrea in order to restore her. The two participants, none other than Carys and
Chloe. They performed the spell...ritual...whatever but that sabotaging bitch Carys said the words
four times instead of the required five and Andrea lost some short term memory.
No, it doesn't end there! No! Not at all. Carys plays with the partially-amnesiac Andrea's emotions and life by saying that she's her girlfriend rather than Chloe. After the bitchery went on for a while, Andrea came back to her senses and went back to Chloe! YAY! Take
that, Carys.
Super Cool Malevolent
Paz came to my penthouse for some information, so being the stupid witch that I was (more to that in a bit), I let him in and assisted him as he wanted to talk to a demon. The demon I intended for him to accidentally died in the process, so I gave him one of my spells to summon a demon. This one, however, was
The Source of All Evil (though I didn't know this at the time). Super Cool Malevolent Paz shrouded me in darkness and the Source
KILLED me and made an offer to Super Cool Malevolent Paz to join him. The Source left.
Super Cool Malevolent Paz stayed for a while and ran into me when I...returned as a whitelighter and for some asinine reason,
Lirie was there. They don't know I'm a whitelighter but are a little perplexed by my sudden (and second) revival. Super Cool Malevolent Paz went off to
Patience's penthouse to be a total bitch to Lirie, Patience herself and poor, poor
Veronica.
He loved Veronica so much that he later came to her apartment and attacked her. And taunted her. And creeped the hell out of everyone who might have been there or not there at all. Veronica got a power progression that enables her to astral project for a few seconds at a time. After the fight, Super Cool Malevolent Paz left with arm injuries and Veronica unconscious (she did wake up eventually, though). Super Cool Malevolent Paz took up the Source's offer to join his side.
I met my first charge, who happens to be Shinji and pretty much told him to keep my whitelighter-ness a secret for the time being. He and Petunius trained their powers and I basically butted in, trying to do some whitelighter duties but left prematurely. For some reason,
Lenin and
Lorenzo paid me a brief visit before disappearing against, pissed off at the fact that I got killed. The Elders decided that I should be partnered up with someone for my whitelighter training and it came in the form of
Crystal, a ditzy, blonde teenager girl who has a huge, borderline-stalker crush on me.
Speaking of ditzes,
Cella and
Moony had the most satisfying catfight ever. I'd put the details here but you will be better off reading the stuff in
Cella's Lair. After that, Cella destroyed Moony's penthouse and is now shacking up in Cole's penthouse and trying to get into bed with him. Will they? Won't they? Who knows? Who knows...
And do you want to know what else happened? Do ya? Do ya? Of course, you do!
Link,
Navi and
Epona entered the World and met
Trix at the swamp, more specifically in a shack housing
Mma. Zabobo who is one crazy mofo! They all leave her place and talk about the Triforce again, eventually heading to the lake with Link inviting Trix for a swim. Or a fuck in the lake. Your pick.
The Charmed Ones are still dealing with
Prue's revival and
Paige senses that there is something wrong...
I think that is all for now. Stay tuned for the next issue.